On the Road Again

I know it's been almost a week since I've written in here, and I apologize for that. I had every intention of writing something inspiring for Christmas, but, alas, we were busy and so I didn't get around to it. I'm happy to report that we had a wonderful Christmas as a family. My sister and her husband and two boys and my brother and his wife and their three kids were all at my parents' house. It was a bit crazy at times, but we always enjoy being together. We also had some quality game-playing time. I will post pictures at a later date.

I'm happy to report that during our game playing time on Saturday, something historic happened: I beat my younger brother at Hearts! And I didn't just beat him a little bit, I kicked his trash. I know it's a terrible thing to gloat, but this seriously NEVER happens! He's always the one who watches as I collect points almost at an alarming rate and take the Queen of Spades many, many times. I was quite excited to see the tables turn and me win for once. Wa-hoo!!

Anyway, while it's been wonderful to be at my parents' house, I've really been waiting to come to my sister's house and visit my beautiful niece. She's still not doing so great, and we don't know how long we get to keep her. There have been many times during the last month when I wasn't sure I would get to see her again, so since she's still here, I definitely wanted to take the time to come up for a few days. So guess what that meant? Yup, back on the road again.

She was pretty much exhausted when my mom and I arrived. But after a bath and a short rest, she was happy to see us. My mom and I have both spent time sitting with her tonight, just holding her hand and letting her know we love her. She does look quite different than when I was here before, but she'll always be my sweet 'n sassy Miss Sassypants. And, like the rest of my family, I rejoice in what time we have left with her.

I'm still afraid of what's going to happen and how we're all going to deal with it, especially my sister and brother-in-law. However, I know that Heavenly Father will never leave us alone nor give us more than we can bear. I also know without a shadow of a doubt that he's with our family during this difficult time. He hears our prayers and answers them according to His will. It's so difficult at times to keep that in mind, but we do our best.

And in the meantime, we do our best to soak up all the time we have left with our precious angel. We all love her so much, and nothing will ever change that.

I Promise I'll Do Better

So this weekend it was pointed out to me that I haven't been writing in my blog so much lately. Yes, I have to admit that is a true statement. During the week I either don't have time or am doing other things so I haven't been as diligent about writing here. Sorry about that any faithful blog readers who feel they are being deprived of their regular doses of Tammy.


The other reason I haven't written as much lately is because I have been struggling a lot, and truthfully, I haven't felt like my happy self. There's just a variety of things going on that I'm finding it difficult to deal with, but I'm slowly making my way through. Because I'm not feeling as cheerful as I normally am, I haven't been able to write bubbly entertaining entries. I really hate it when that happens. I want my blog to be a nice, fun place where playful Tammy resides. So when sad Tammy makes her appearance, I tend to stay away from my blog and from other people I don't want to infect with my sadness.


However, I am hopeful that "this too shall pass" and soon I will emerge triumphant on the other side of the storm currently above my head. In the meantime, I'm going to try hard to find humorous little things in my everyday life that could be potential blog posts because honestly that's what often makes the most interesting ones anyway. And I will try not to let my struggling mood manifest itself in my blog too much.

I do have to share one thing before I close though. Today was Fast Sunday. I was sitting in Sacrament meeting with no intention of bearing my testimony when I suddenly got that pounding feeling inside, you know, the one that means you need to bear your testimony. My heart was pounding so fast that I went up to the stand as soon as I could and waited while one person finished bearing his testimony.

To my utter mortification, the waterworks started before I could even begin talking and continued throughout my testimony. I hope the congregation could even understand what I said! However, I must admit it was one of the most humble and sincere testimonies I have ever given, and hopefully people felt that too. The worst part was that even after I went back to my seat I couldn't stop crying throughout the entire meeting. In a lot of ways though it was like the dam on the tide of emotions I've been feeling lately burst and it all came rushing out. It's good to get it out of my system, but I sure wish it could've been done in a less public location, like say, my bedroom or something. For anyone who doesn't know me well, I hate crying in front of people. I think it's totally fine when other people cry in front of me but I hate doing that myself. Sometimes though I think it's just inevitable, as it was in this case.


Here's to hoping for more cheerful times are forthcoming.