Friday, November 14, 2008

Talking can be so cathartic!

So this week has been pretty tough for various reasons. I don't really want to talk about that here. I'm kind of depleted, but it's going to be okay. I just need a little time to rest and recover and then I'll be fine or else something really great to distract me.

I want to share an experience that I had tonight that made me feel so much better. A good friend of mine called this week to ask if I wanted to go to dinner. He was teasingly telling me that I could also ask my roommate because "we're all tight like that" (meaning we're good friends, which is true). Anyway, this friend has a great talent for making me laugh, and I think I can make him laugh too, so it works out well. This dinner has been a bright spot for me and something I could look forward to.

My roommate was going to cancel out at the last minute but then she was persuaded to come after all. We had a lovely dinner and enjoyed talking, laughing and everything in between. Then we had a little dessert, which did include ice cream. (I am a strong believer in the idea that ice cream is good for the soul and sometimes it helps open the lines of communication.) This proved to be true. Yesterday I started thinking about a situation that involves so much needless drama, and I got completely riled up to the point that I could hardly handle it anymore. I've thought about this situation before and it's not really a new thing, but with everything else going on this week, I'd had enough. We started talking about this situation, which is also something my roommate is bothered by. We talked about all aspects of the situation and what really bugged us about what was going on. Our friend put his two cents in from time to time but mostly he listened. However, he also pointed out a few things about this situation that neither of us had considered before. It was a pretty long discussion, but it just made me feel so much better to talk about it and to consider it in a different light than I'd thought about before. To sum it up, it was a cathartic experience!! I know that both my roommate and I are now ready and prepared to tolerate it so much more.

I've said it once and I'll say it again--talking is very cleansing to girls. I have told my guy friends this before, and I don't know if they always believe me but it's true. Sometimes we just need to talk about a problem or vent about something that's bothering us and then we start feeling better. We don't necessarily want someone to solve our problem with us; mostly we need them to listen. Sometimes in listening, they can offer an outsider's perspective (as this friend did) which may be just what we need to help us feel better.

Going to dinner was step number one in overcoming my difficult week and talking over this particular problem was step number two in helping me to feel better. I can't even believe how much more at peace that I feel now. The plain fact is that nothing has changed, but my perspective has altered and now I'm ready to deal with it again. The funny thing is I actually talked about this situation with another friend yesterday, which is part of what stirred me up in the first place. However, this friend is a girl, and I'm not saying that you shouldn't talk to girls about your problems or anything, but in a lot of ways what she said only made it worse. Maybe there's a lesson for me to learn from all of this. . . . I'll have to think about it some more and decide. Well, a lesson aside from the fact that I need to talk about my problems with someone but perhaps that I should consider who it is that I'm talking to. I am sometimes afraid to let myself lean on people because I'm afraid they won't be there for me the next time I need them. Yes, this has actually happened before, and as a result, I don't trust very easily. But maybe it's time that I changed this mode of thinking and decided instead to let someone into my life instead of being so stubborn. I'd better close now before I get any more personal. Thanks for reading, anyone who actually looks at this on a regular basis!

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