I was talking to a good friend of mine recently (and I still don't have a good pseudonym for him so he'll just have to remain nameless in my blog for the time being) and he was talking about how sucky it is to have emotions sometimes. He was jokingly advocating how much better if would be if we didn't have any emotions at all.
While I agree that sometimes I hate it when I'm feeling something and don't exactly understand why (or would rather not feel), I still wouldn't want to ever be entirely without emotions. I enjoy my humanity thank you very much! But I can see his point--that sometimes it's hard to deal with what you're feeling, and when it gets to be too much, sometimes you wish you didn't have to feel it at all.
Now I don't have to deal with anything as terrible as what he's been through, but sometimes I find myself in some type of funk that I can't seem to get out of. It frustrates me to not understand what I'm feeling and, more importantly, to pull myself out of it. Today was just such a day for me.
It wasn't that I had a bad day or anything; on the contrary, it was a pretty good day. I was quite productive at work, and tonight I was able to finish a project that I needed to do, but my problem was that I felt so emotional the whole day. It's uncomfortable to feel like you're going to burst into tears at any moment for no good reason. I guess it could've had to do with the fact that I took my car in to get the oil changed today expecting to spend only $40 and ended up spending almost $200 instead. Ouch! Or it could've been that my Alleymates are all out the rest of this week so it was rather lonely at work (although it meant I was more productive since I had less distractions, but mostly they're welcome distractions anyway). Or it could've been residual effects from the unreasonably long day I had on Tuesday or even that I'm technically still recovering from being sick. Honestly, I can't say for sure what my deal was, but I was sure frustrated at feeling that way for no good reason.
Ugh! Stinkin' emotions! Here's to hoping my funk is gone tomorrow so I can go back to being Happy Tammy once again. And I get to see my fam again this weekend so that's something to be excited about anyway. :)