Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Limbo Land. Social Siberia and hope's bright shining face

Wow! It's been awhile since I've written in here. It's not for lack of subject matter that I have chosen not to write--it's more lack of time. And I always wonder why is it that everything seems to happen all at once?

Last week was somewhat of a hell week for me, I'm afraid. I've been doing a major project for my freelancing client that has taken up oodles of my time. It has a fairly tight deadline and I agreed to do it even though I knew it would stress me out. It wouldn't have been quite so bad if that was the only thing, but I also had a lot of company last week, some of which I hadn't planned on. Mind you, all of my company was very much welcome, but it was just hard when I had this project hanging over my head. I felt I didn't enjoy seeing my family as much as I would have ordinarily because I knew I needed to get this project done.

But I have forged bravely ahead and the end of the project is in sight. It's going to take much of my strength to put my nose to the grindstone for the next few days, but I have no fear that I'll be able to ride it out. :) I haven't figured out what my reward will be for finishing it, but I'll think of something good I'm sure. And I can't wait to leave the Social Siberia this project has placed me in! Soon I'll be free!

Tonight I was a little bit between editing so I ended up with some free time (gasp!) and even though it's what I've wanted, it felt weird to me. This could've been because I knew more work would arrive shortly, but the reprieve was nice. I'm feeling refreshed and anxious all at the same time. Why do I have to be so complicated and feel so many things at once?!

Anyway, the purpose of this entry is not to whine about my busyness (and, yes, I might've just made that word up) but to talk about the fact that I feel like I'm in limbo land. I'm feeling like something is missing, but I'm just not sure what. Thanks to an important session in the temple with my parents last Friday, I'm feeling like I have something concrete to work toward, but I'm still figuring out how to get there. This goal is something that is definitely going to stretch me, which is why it'll take so much preparation, but if I'm supposed to do it, as I felt strongly that I am, the way will be opened for me as long as I do my part.

Despite feeling somewhat lost and in limbo, I'm also hopeful that everything is going to be okay. Along with faith, hope is a strong emotion that can carry us through almost anything. This I have discovered many times over, especially in the last year and a half. My exile to Social Siberia (or editing prison as the case may be) will soon be over and my evenings will once again be mine. Yay! That's a happy thought!

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