Today I attended my new ward for the second time. I was so proud of myself last week for going because I had to do it by myself. Let's be honest--it's not always fun to go to church alone, but it's especially hard to do it in a new ward. I was glad that I got up the nerve to do it. And I felt rewarded by the fact that I made a new friend in my ward, who is also new.
It wasn't quite as hard to go today, but it hasn't gotten to the point where it's easy yet. In fact as I was leaving the house to head to church, the thought crossed my mind that I could just come right back in the house and not go to church at all. But it was fleeting and I dismissed it immediately. Not going to church is not an option for me, especially after all I've been through in the last year. I've had too many witnesses to ever think that I could stop going and be okay with it. That's why I plan to work hard to get established in my ward, so it's easier to go every time. And I've got to put myself out there, which I'm not very good at. But I'm working on it.
It's been a couple years since I've done the new in the ward thing, and I've forgotten that it takes time and effort to establish yourself. Most people don't just come up to you and make it easy; in fact, that's the exception rather than the rule. But just because people don't come up and introduce themselves to you doesn't mean it's a bad ward or anything. It just means they're comfortable and have probably forgotten what it's like to be new. It's all right.
Each time I become the newbie, I always promise myself that I will become one of those people who introduces herself to other people and tries to make others feel welcome. I don't know that I always succeed, but I do try. Sometimes I'm just better at it than other times.
In any case, wish my luck as I integrate myself into a new ward. Hopefully it all works out for me. :)
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